October 11, 2005

aku fail lagi....

assalamualaikum..

Buat diri yg kian lupa...
Again, i failed for the countless times. And i was really sad for this failure.... Hmm, sabar diyana..sabar diyana. Ni kan bulan puasa? It is not about faliure in academics..but its about failure tomaximize my ibadah duringthisholymonth!!Hmm, you know why i'm so sad? Because i failed for the previous 7 days to maximize my ibadah, to gain His luv, to help those needies...Solat terawih, buat nk x nk, baca quran pun ikut mood, mulut masih ckp bnda yg lagha, mata masih x terjaga, telinga apatah lagi..Astaghfirullah al azhim...

Muhasabah lah wahai diri.. Kenapa boleh gagal? Cmner kalau gagal dlm xm? msti rasa tersgt sedih kn? kalau fail dlm bln ramadhan patutnya lagi lah sedih. Nikan bulan barakah,bulan keampunan? Cuba check,
1) cmner preparation nk exam dgn nk puasa? Mana lg hebat?
"Astaghfirullah, bulan rejab dan bulan syaaban aku x cukup bersedia.. Patutlah aku gagal!"
2) cmner keyakinan waktu nk amik exam bila dah well prepared?
"Astaghfirullah al azim, aku x well prepared utk ramadhan kali ni, mcmana nk rasa yakin dgn ramadhan bulan barakah?"
3) Kalau doa tu hati yg baca ke atau sekadar lisan yg terkumat kamit?
"Astaghfirullah al azhim.. Aku x pernah berdoa dgn setulus hati. Mulut sekadar membacakan doa lazim, tp x pernah serap masuk dlm hati"
4) Kalau sebelum exam kata, aku mesti berubah, kali ni bagaimana?
" Astaghfirullah al azhim, aku hanya kata aku hendak berubah, tetapi tiada tindakan susulan"...
jadi, dah nmpk kesalah sumer dlm diri..kenapa mesti bnyk ckp?Don't you ever remember ur bez fren's advise? "Actions louder than words? Then reform, for the sake of Allah! Nobody will change urself, if u r not the one who stimulates urself" Reform!!"

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